Men behaving Oh! so badly.. and a woman scorned…



Lori Shaffer


Professor Gilbert

April 18, 2013


          Even before homo-sapiens existed on Earth, women have pursued men who break their hearts. What is it that attracts women to men behaving badly? Is it their bad habits, or maybe their boasting self-confidence that allures women into their traps? There must be something about handsome men who create a mysterious tall and dark disposition. As long as love and attraction have existed, women have loved men more than they have loved us. The attraction to a rich man can be very powerful when women are securing their worldly existence. Women are notorious planners. Women wake up thinking and their brain does not stop thinking until their mind allows them to drift off to sleep. This agreement between the mind and body is only to insist upon productive dreams of future obligations.

          In “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte, The obligations towards Mr. Rochester are plainly stated in her job application. Jane is to attend to his adopted daughter as an educator. When a woman is employed by a handsome, rich man, she is not inclined to look beyond his outer mannerisms. “He has a gentleman’s tastes and habits, and he expects to have things managed in conformity to them” (Bronte, 136). It is increasingly hard to know where a woman stands in his eyes, for Mr. Rochester’s character is not an easy read. As a woman seeking a love relationship, she will want to take a closer look into the man. She should try to understand what category she falls under, has she has fallen into the forbidden friend zone or the position of a lover. Maybe he really thinks of her as a life long mate.

          Mr. Rochester was more than twice the senior to Jane Eyre. On a brisk evening the two meet for the first time. A man on a horse, accompanied by his dog, riding towards his mansion, as he passes by Jane, the horse has an unfortunate accident. Men even when hurt or injured will shrug off pain in order to hold their masculine stature and pride. Is this what impresses women? It would seem obvious that women are not generally attracted to weak and whiny men. (Although  this is what women tend to end up with after a few years of marriage, a man too stubborn to go to the doctor but who will bitch and moan consistently to us.) Women tend to feel needed when someone is injured, especially a handsome, rich bachelor. While Jane Eyre should have packed her belongings and ran for the hills, she just could not resist Mr. Rochester.

          A man with a ghostly image of a wife, blinded by the light of a fire, which cost him everything, including the loss of a limb, was deeply in love with Jane Eyre. “When gentlemen of his age fall in love with girls, they are often like as if they were bewitched” (Bronte, 452). Is this a travesty to mean a girl, barely a woman, has the power of a spiritual nature to force a man’s heart into loving no one but yours truly? Jane Eyre, an orphaned girl who grew up with nothing but the thin clothing on her back, became an educated millionaire. When all was said and done Jane chose to marry Mr. Rochester, an old, blind man with an absent appendage. Just maybe, Jane was the one under the Rochester evil eye.

          The “Weight” by Jeanette Winterson: In heaven as it is on Earth, there are limitations. There are pleasantries we as humans can not have without suffering punishments. Winterson describes; “Boundaries always boundaries, and the longing for infinite space” (16). Is this the forbidden fruit of love, and the freedom that we humans strive to obtain?  Always wanting what we can not have, the taste is bitter sweet. As long as humans have existed, love has driven men and women to the brink of insanity. We humans, while even most content with our love lives, will venture out to find space with another for love, even if only in the boundary of our fantasies.

          The all mighty god Zeus is married to Hera, the most beautiful woman known to man. Still Zeus is compelled to take the form of a mortal man, in order to have sex with another woman. This mortal woman now becomes permeated with a child, Hercules. As if this is not enough, Zeus puts the infant Hercules at the breast of his wife, Hera. Once bitten twice shamed, all of this is to allow his son, Hercules to become half mortal, half god. Hercules is described by Winterson as a “joke and a god” (35). One of which will seal his doomed fate, in this life form. Hercules was a drinker and a lover to all, no woman could resist him. If they did, he would kill them just to set an example. The only woman Hercules could not obtain was Hera, his one true sexual lust.

          Hera appears before Hercules in the garden after he has slayed the dragon. Hercules is quickly reminded of Hera’s beauty which is so astounding that he regrets his present appearance. Winterson describes Hera as “[h]is tormentor and his dream” (39). Hercules is already all worked up from killing the serpent Ladon. Hercules is also sexually aroused by the appearance of Hera. The thought of taking her in the garden is hard to ignore, as his penis is throbbing non-stop. Hera is displeased with what she sees; a dead serpent, and a mortal man with a throbbing penis.

          Hercules blames Hera for whom he has become, stating that it was she who hurled him to madness. Hera tells Hercules that it was not she who has caused his woes in this life. “A mad man has no reason in his head [a] brutal man has no pity in his heart” (Winterson, 40). Hercules looks into Hera’s eyes and insists that they were meant for each other, you can not deny me. Hera simply tells Hercules that he will never be a god, that he is too much of a human, in her eyes. Hera takes the serpent and throws him into the night sky to live forever in the stars. As a result her upper body is bared. Hercules could not help himself. He reaches for her, touching her in a very intimate way. He wants to pleasure himself in her delicate form, but knows it would be lights out for him. Hercules settles for self pleasure, as he relieves the stress and anxiety from his swollen penis, Hera rewards him with a caress and disappears.

          While Hera is forced to endure the embarrassment of Zeus’s unfaithfulness, which happens as often as he desires, Hera is also playing the role of a man/god. Hera is so precious and lovely. She is immortal and irresistible to all of mankind. The boundaries are still present even for the gods, but the space in which they are given to travel is much greater, than the space of mortals. Zeus loved his wife, but to be faithful was not part of his boundary method. While Hera was only a member of the female race, she was able to control everyone but Zeus. Hera turned the axis on Zeus by not letting him control her every move. She made Zeus pay for his un-faithfulness by using her brain and beauty. Behind every great God is an even greater Goddess, very similar to the lives of mere mortals.

          “How to talk to a Hunter” by Pam Houston: A great hunter. A man dressed in a warm, soft flannel shirt, accenting his light green/hazel eyes. His sturdy and strong frame inside a cozy cabin, bring thoughts of security and comfort on a chilly winter’s night. This great hunter looks into her eyes and asked her “skins or blankets” (Houston, 99)? At first this does not register in her thought process. She is too involved in planning how this evening will play out, and what the morning after will bring. She pulls herself into the present and discovers that the hunter is asking her what she would like to keep her warm for tonight. Because this is where his mind is at, the here and now point. The hunter chooses the coat of a large mammal, hoping it will be the only thing covering her naked body.

          The winter is cold and long and a girl needs something to keep her warm. The December holiday is fast approaching and there is not a woman on the face of the earth who wants to be alone during the holidays. It is generally when we ladies lower that acceptance bar, just a little. The hunter will try to keep his prized possession (her), in the cabin as long as needed. He will offer her a shiny object that allows her unlimited access into the cozy cabin. “A man desires the satisfaction of his desire; a woman desires the condition of desiring” (Houston, pg.99).  The hunter will take all the time in the world to fill every sexual fantasy, her mind has ever imagined. The hunter’s engorged penis, (much like the shiny, hard, metal object) is just a false pretense of an unfaithful disappointment destined to break her heart in the end.

          The hunter has way too many undisclosed secrets for her to feel secure in this relationship. Too many unanswered/missed phone calls but in a moment of weakness he will confess his humanity. This is just another way to pry into her heart. The hunter continues to keep her warm with shelter, fills her desires with passion, and secures her hunger with freshly murdered animal flesh. The hunter will watch holiday chick flicks and tell her everything about himself except what she really wants to know. “They lie to us, they cheat on us and we love them more for it” (Houston, 102). She will continue to wonder; why so many secrets and where is this relationship going? Just five days before Christmas, the hunter will have alternate plans with a comrade. She will blame herself, thinking I should have seen this coming from a mile away. It is at this point in time she should try and find someone to ease the pain, like a man would. Unfortunately she will crawl home for an evening that lasts forever in the face of regret.

          Just like all great hunters, he will re-track his prey. He will express his sadness of missing her and ask for forgiveness but, only with his eyes. He will appear to be weak and vulnerable. She should not give in so quickly. She should give him a simple kiss and send him packing for at least a night. He, like all great hunters, will return after a cold night of sleeping alone. She will allow his company on a Christmas Eve, only because she does not want to be alone. The hunter and she will spend the holiday trimming the tree, listening to festive music.  The hunter will ultimately relieve her hunger with his prize winning meats.


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One Response to Men behaving Oh! so badly.. and a woman scorned…

  1. collinbs says:

    Wow. I must say this is a very nice start. I was glad to see the inclusion of How to Speak With a Hunter. I must say that was one of my favorite things we read this semester in class. I enjoyed the second person narration and how the author was able to say so much in such a short work. I also think your transition between characters works to tie this piece together nicely. It makes sense to me thematically to move from Rochester to Hercules to the Hunter.

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